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4 questions to ask yourself before falling in love AGAIN
You’ve been hurt. You picked up the pieces and put yourself back together. Now, you think you’re ready for a fresh start. But, before you open your heart to someone new, take a pause. Take a moment to check in with yourself. Ask yourself some questions and see whether you are really ready. Being conscious about the decisions you make is as important as finding the right person. Here are four questions you should ask yourself.
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Am I ready to show up fully?
Yes, you have decided to take a step forward. But here’s something you should be asking yourself: Are you ready to show up fully in this relationship, with all your wounds and light? Will you be able to bring your true self? Not the curated version you think someone wants to see, but the authentic, vulnerable, and sometimes messy version that’s actually you?
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Do I know my boundaries?
You know what happened last time. You think you know the boundaries quite well, now. But do you, really? Ask yourself if you are fully aware of your boundaries. It’s not about being a buzzkill or controlling; it’s about knowing where you end, and someone else begins. Most importantly, are you willing to enforce these boundaries? This really matters. Knowing your boundaries and enforcing them in real life are two different things. Strong boundaries are not walls in a relationship; they are rather bridges that close the gap.
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Am I clear on what I truly want and need?
Now, if you are entering this relationship with your eyes open, you still have to think about what you seek from it. It is natural that you may have low expectations the second time around. But it doesn’t have to be. You deserve everything. So, instead of getting stuck in old patterns and expecting the least, know what you really want. Take the time, and ask yourself. What are you looking for? Emotional availability? Moral values? Stability? Intellectual stimulation? Physical affection? Respect? What is that you are looking for.
You will really bring your whole self, only when you heal from your past wounds. You are ready for a new relationship, but have you healed from the past one? Are you sure that you are not expecting someone else to fix what was broken in you? Can you be certain that you are not hoping that being loved will finally make you feel worthy? Unhealed wounds can damage your new relationship as well. So, ask yourself if you are willing to do the inner work yourself.
When you are ready, ask these four questions. Ensure you can say ‘yes’ to these before falling in love again.
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