6 ways you unknowingly invite bad treatment – And how to fix it, as per psychologist

Ever wondered why some people walk all over you while others command respect? Psychologist Ziad Roumy recently explained six subtle habits that scream “treat me poorly”, in a video posted on social media—and they’re sneakier than you think. That awkward laugh at rude jokes, constant over-apologizing, or shrinking your needs to keep peace? They’re invisible permission slips for mistreatment. The good news? These habits can be changed.
Here’s how your actions signal “open season”—and the simple shifts that shut it down.

“When someone crosses the line… Well silence is a sign of acceptance and laughing it off only encourages their behaviour,” Ziad said.

That polite chuckle at rude comments signal green light for more. Ziad nails it—silence whispers “this is fine,” training bullies they can push harder. Your nervous laugh becomes their applause.

Instead, fix it by setting healthy boundaries and speaking up for yourself when needed. It shows that you value and respect yourself enough to not accept poor treatment.

“You always try to be the bigger person… Forgiving too fast or swallowing your feelings just to keep the peace or avoid conflict like, ‘It’s fine, I’m not gonna stoop to that level’ or ‘I’ll just let it go'”.

Martyr mode feels noble but screams doormat. Quick forgiveness without accountability teaches repeat offenders “no consequences.” Ziad’s right—”I’ll let it go” becomes their free pass.

Fix: Validate your feelings first and speak up, “That hurt me.” And before forgiving someone, notice a change in their behaviour. Journal emotions—name them to process, not suppress. Healthy guilt seeks repair; toxic guilt eats alone.

“You apologising for things that aren’t your fault… It signals you are willing to take the blame because you’re kind, so they let you,” said Zaid.

Fix it by catching your “sorry” reflex. When you apologise when it isn’t your fault, pause and ask “Was it my fault?” Replace with empathy: “That sounds frustrating” vs. ownership. You’re compassionate, not culpable—speak accordingly.

“You are always available no matter how they treat you… Well that’s the recipe for being taken for granted,” Zaid said.

24/7 accessibility shows that you are an option, not a priority to others. Answering to toxic texts at 2 AM screams “lowest priority gets highest access.” Ziad calls it—constant availability trains disrespect.

Fix it by delaying your responses strategically. Midnight crisis texts? Reply tomorrow. Set windows: “Available post-6 PM weekdays.” Voice notes for busy signals. Watch who respects boundaries—quality over quantity. Unavailable people become wanted; always-there becomes wallpaper. Calendar blocks enforce scarcity. And for friends who punish delays, prune them ruthlessly.

“You’re too understanding… You make excuses for their bad behaviour even to yourself,” Zaid said.

Excuse factory in your head? “They’re stressed” justifies cruelty; “rough week” excuses chronic lateness. Ziad sees through—self-gaslighting normalizes mistreatment.

How to fix it: Fact-check internally: “Is this pattern or incident?” If it happens repeatedly, then it’s a pattern. Also, check with other friends if they too experience the same from the same person. Instead of accepting poor behaviour, call it out. Journal your raw feelings without justification. Remember, healthy understanding requires change; endless empathy enables abuse.

“You put their comfort above your own and you feel like your own needs are like a burden… Well, people don’t always behave badly because they are cruel. Sometimes it’s because you never showed them where the line is,” Zaid shared, and rightly so.

How to fix it: Voice your needs and frame them as preferences, not apologies. Small asks build boundary muscle: “Can we reschedule?” Track sacrifices—100% giving = 0% respect. Healthy people accommodate; users resent. Practice mirror mantra: “My needs deserve space.” Discomfort voicing needs? Start tiny. Self-prioritization attracts equals, repels leeches. Your comfort’s not optional—claim it confidently.