Parenting coach reveals the right away to punish a child (Photo Credit: Shutterstock)
Parenting Coach Dr Becky and podcaster Myleik recently shared a video on their Instagram channel talking about parenting. They reflected on how to punish the child in the right way.
Dr Becky shared that when her child does something wrong, she prefers to disconnect from them until they realise their mistake. In the video, she said, “If my kid does something bad, I go away from them. When my kid does something bad, we disconnect. I pull away. My love becomes a punishment. Yes, that is a punishment. You know, I’m not talking to them, or you can tell that I’m no longer engaging with them.I think, instead, we should move toward our kids when they do something we don’t like, and still stay connected to the good child underneath.
I can tell my kid that the behavior wasn’t okay, right? But I can still see the good child underneath. I’m not connecting to the bad behavior as much as I’m staying connected to my good kid who is struggling.”She further said, “Then I can act like a coach to help change that behavior. I have to figure out what’s really going on and help them change through skills, not just power and fear, right? And give it time. This is something I was taught.”
The caption of the post read, “Many of us were taught that when our kid does something “bad,” we pull away. We disconnect, withdraw, or even go cold. But in this conversation of the Good Inside Podcast with my friend @myleik, we talk about a different approach: staying connected to the good kid underneath the behavior while holding the boundary. And here’s a simple reframe to take with you: instead of asking “How do I make my kid stop?” ask “What skill does my kid need to learn here?” Suddenly you’re building something together instead of battling against each other.
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The video has also encouraged many parents to talk about the issue online, where many agree that traditional forms of punishment are more about control than understanding. Dr Becky’s approach emphasizes the need for emotional connection even during times of punishment and how parents need to look beyond the behavior to understand what is causing it.Experts say that children misbehave not because they want to be naughty but also because of a lack of certain skills. Parents can use this opportunity to teach the child the skills they are lacking rather than getting angry at them.
