Forget bullet points; dating app success hinges on storytelling. New research reveals that weaving your life experiences into a narrative, rather than just listing traits, fosters empathy and connection. This approach humanizes profiles, countering the transactional nature of online dating and significantly boosting romantic interest from potential matches. Embrace your inner storyteller to truly stand out.
In the age of swipes and super-likes, standing out among hundreds of profiles on dating apps isn’t easy. Most people assume that the best pictures alone can make an impression. While they certainly help, that’s not the whole story.
It turns out that the way you present yourself matters far more than the facts themselves.Scientists have now cracked the secret to drawing more interest. A recent research by the American Psychological Association found that if you want to attract more interest on dating apps, don’t just list your best qualities in your profile – instead, tell a story about your life!
Storytelling matters
For your dating profile to stand out, you should do more than talk about your traits.
You may have to be a storyteller! The study published in the Psychology of Popular Media found that dating profiles that tell a story create empathy and connection and attract more interest from potential dates. “We are fascinated by stories, yet we write our dating profiles like shopping lists. It’s not height or ambition that makes someone fall for you; it’s your entire story. But people can’t feel that from bullet points,” study author Gurit Birnbaum, PhD, a psychology professor at Reichman University in Israel, said in a release.
Science behind the attraction
The researchers looked at marketing research that has long found that storytelling is a useful advertising technique. Ads that use narrative techniques to engage consumers and create an emotional connection to products will sell more products. Birnbaum and co-researchers wanted to see whether the same concept would apply to dating profiles. To understand it, they conducted three experiments involving a total of 594 participants.
Participants were shown dating profiles that presented the same information in two different ways: narrative and non-narrative. For example, in the first experiment, participants read text profiles. The non-narrative profile included bare facts: The person plays the guitar, studies economics, and likes to travel. The narrative version wove those facts into a story, describing how the person’s grandfather had given them a guitar as a child, and music became a through-line in their life.
The participants then reported their empathy for and romantic interest in the person. In the second experiment, the researchers looked at photo profiles. The photos were taken in neutral settings, like a park or a street. In the narrative condition, the photos showed the person going about their daily life, doing things like exercising, studying, and spending time with friends. Meanwhile, in the third experiment, the participants both read text and saw photos of potential dates.The researchers found that the participants had more empathy for the potential dates when they read or viewed the narrative profiles. That increased empathy, in turn, predicted greater romantic interest. This was constant across the three experiments. Birnbaum added that daters who feel burned out by the transactional nature of online dating can perhaps be more narrative. “By humanizing profiles and encouraging genuine emotional engagement, storytelling actively counters the objectifying nature of online dating platforms. It can motivate date seekers to view potential dates as fellow human beings rather than mere commodities and foster a sense of connection in an otherwise detached medium of online dating,” she added.
What are you waiting for? Lay out your best traits like a story, and your phone will blow up with notifications!
